Stiff
by FallingCrow
Summary: An unfortunate argument leads to an unfortunate accident. Tim Drake's life was turned around when he was caught at the wrong place at the wrong time. A rusty bullet leads to an undetected case of tetanus which Tim and his family have to deal with in a financial situation and without their father. How will the family fare? Civilian AU, Bruce is dead and his will was all donated.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

Wild lights danced in front of my eyes, everything blurring because my brain was too slow to capture all that I saw in front of me. I knew that I laid on a cold, metal gurney and that my arms were cuffed to them on either side of the sheet of steel.

I felt the rush of wind and my adrenaline pumping as I felt my body speeding around the building I was in. Where to? I didn't know, didn't care. My hair flew upward towards my scalp and plastered back onto my clammy, hot forehead when I stopped moving.

I heard familiar voices and felt hands touching my body, cutting away my clothes and moving me onto a sheet of paper. I recognized the familiar feel of a surgery table and my body shuddered against the cold. I moved my head around trying to find a familiar face, but my head refused to move on its own.

I gave up and let the people around me do whatever they wanted with me. I was naked and uncomfortable, I felt ashamed. I tried to curl up into a ball to show the least amount of skin as possible, but the hands held me down. The logic in my head told me to be suspicious, to run, but I'm tired. I have been for a long, long time.

/

Damian stared up at the stars above. He stood on top of the aparment's rooftop, mindlessly staring out into the city. How could he be so stupid? How dare he let his guard down for a minute! If it weren't for him, Drake would still be here! He kicked at himself in his mind and sadly looked down Crime Alley.

His eyes followed to a small spot in front of a grocery store a couple of blocks down, which was now covered in yellow tape and a few cop cars stood stoically. He watched as the cops took aside bystanders and interviewed them for the suspect.

Jason and Dick were at the hospital right now, visiting Drake, he supposed. Damian felt a slight pang of jealousy, making his heart twitch and his lip curl into a sneer. Disgusting. Feeling sorry for the nerd, he thought. Immediately, his heart twitched again and his face suddenly dropped. Imagine how disappointed Dick would be if he heard his thoughts. The eldest was already having a hard time supporting the five of them, he didn't want to further bother Dick with his venomous thoughts.

Damian glared at the moon, not letting his mind slip back to the events that had happened early today. He just couldn't. He didn't want to go back to that place. The place where he actually felt bad for his actions, made a _mistake_. Father, he thought, what would you tell me to do if you were still here?

"Bruce… proud… you." A dark figure climbed up onto the roof from the fire escape ladder. Damian froze, but relaxed when he recognized the footsteps the figure left behind as it walked towards him. The moon light lit her face and he was staring upon his sweet, older sister's face, smiling sadly at him.

He felt a lump in his throat. "How… how would you know? He's dead, he can't speak," Damian managed in a calm voice. Cass placed her hand on Damian's shoulder.

"Even… he… gone… still… same," Cass spoke thoroughly, "Parents… unconditional… love." Damian shook his head. He appreciated the comfort Cass attempted to give, but it didn't make him feel any better.

"He could still love me, but he's disappointed in me. I just know it. I couldn't protect the weakling today. I should- I should've done more."

This time, Cass squeezed his shoulder, "No… matter… love… proud… package deal."

"I'm sorry."

Cass hugged Damian tight. He would usually slap the person giving him the hug and run away, but he didn't mind getting hugs from Cass, especially after all she had done for him. Damian hugged her back tight and let a few tears slip out. He cursed himself for showing vulnerability, when Cass wiped his tears away.

Cass always seemed to know what he was thinking. "It's… okay… tears… strong… ".

Damian glared , but in return, Cass smiled. "Inside… too… cold." Damian nodded and led her down the fire escape.

They climbed down from the twelfth floor to the seventh floor and slipped into the only opened window there was on that floor.

The window led to Dick and Tim's room, which was only a shade neater than Jason, Cass and Damian's room. The bed was made, but clothes were strewn all over the floor. The textbooks were neatly stacked into their small bookshelves, but wrappers of candy and chips laid on the ground.

"It's like pigs live in here," Damian remarked, wrinkling his nose. Cass laughed and shook her head.

"Neater than ours," she said. They helped pick up trash from the floor to make some room in case Tim was coming back from the hospital that night (which was improbable, though it was a possibility). Then, Cass jumped on the bed and patted the space next to her, gesturing to Damian to lay next to her.

Reluctantly, Damian jumped on the bed with her. Cass immediately hugged him close to her body. Damian nearly growled but decided to reign his disgust for a couple of hours.

"Tell me… what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Can… help."

Damian thought about it. There was really no cons to reliving the event today, except that he would end up feeling guilty. Something Damian Wayne really hated feeling. But somehow, Cass's eyes implored him to talk, drawing him to tell the truth.

"This morning, Drake was so tired, he poured orange juice in my cereal. I mean, I get tired, but that's just ridiculous!" Cass's eyes gleamed in the dark, echoing a smile in her chocolate eyes.

"So I got in a fight with Drake and I was about to kick him in a place that would end his bloodline; when he just got up to leave. He said that he was going to buy some groceries and that he didn't want to deal with my problems right now. Next thing I knew was that I heard open gunfire and I looked outside the window. I see Drake lying on the street with a couple of other bodies. Why didn't I do more? Why did I have to fight Drake that day?" Damian scowled, tears threatening to pour over.

"Sleep," Cass replied, stroking his head. Damian wanted to protest, but he soon felt his eyes droop and he cried himself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

A week had passed since Tim was admitted into the hospital and Dick was helping arrange the house to accommodate the bullet wound victim. Dick came back with two grocery bags full of items that would prove to be useful in the future.

He placed a body sponge in the shower to help Tim bathe when he was feeling too gross, a lot of waterproof dressings in the medical cabinet when Tim needed to change them and the medicine the surgeon had prescribed them.

Dick sighed and looked around the empty apartment. Jason and Cass were at the hospital, escorting Tim home; while Damian was nowhere to be seen. Damian had hardly been home since the day Tim had got shot and Dick let it go, because he thought Damian needed some time to process this information.

Beep, beep! Dick's phone lit up and he squinted at the text message. Instantaneously, he smiled. Tim and the rest were downstairs.

He rushed down the stairs to greet the three of them. Jason held Tim's hospital bag in one hand and his car keys in the other, locking the car in the parking lot. Cass gently held Tim's arm by holding onto his elbow.

Dick's smile broadened when he saw his little siblings and especially Tim, since it was the first time that week he saw him smiling. Tim's arm was in a cast to keep his arm from moving too much, allowing the bullet wound in his shoulder to heal properly.

He placed his arms around Tim's shoulders and gave him a light hug. Tim leaned into his embrace and dropped his head onto Dick's shoulders.

"It's good to have you back, bud," Dick said, smiling at the younger teen.

Tim grinned back, "It's good not to have my shoulder hurt like hell anymore." Dick laughed and rubbed Tim's head.

"I got your favorite food-"

Tim's eyes instantly lit up, "Hawaiian and donuts?"

Jason instantly scoffed, "Pineapple does NOT belong on pizza."

"YES IT DOES," Dick and Tim retorted, glaring at Jason. "How dare you," Dick added. He caught Cass smirking behind her hand and Jason rolling his eyes.

"Whatever, I'm stuck in a household full of weirdos. Heretics. Demons. Disgusting."

The four of them walked up to their apartment on the seventh floor, laughing, their yelling bouncing off the walls. Dick fumbled for his keys to open the door, when the door suddenly opened. He looked down to see Damian opening the door, his face completely void of any emotion.

"There's the midget," Jason exclaimed, hauling the hospital bag onto the floor of their home. Dick walked Tim to the sofa, where Tim laid on the old, dusty couch and snuggled close to the pillow.

"Plates… plates… where are the paper plates? I don't feel like doing any of the dishes today," Dick commented, racing around the small kitchen to prepare dinner. Dick looked through every single cupboard, only to find that the paper plates were on the counter the entire time. He mentally slapped himself across the face when he came to this realization.

Dick left the kitchen to set up the table in the living room. Cass had brought out the leftover sodas that they drank from a few weeks ago, while Jason had brought out the three pies of pizza and two boxes of donuts (strawberry and chocolate, both with sprinkles. Just how Tim liked it) they had.

Dick watched from the corner of his eye, Damian slinking back into his room. Something was not right, Damian would normally perch on a window sill, arms crossed and vehemently spitting out insults and curse words. It was too quiet in the apartment, Damian was too quiet.

However, the thought was pushed out of his head when Jason called everyone to dinner. Dick grinned ear to ear, helping Tim out of the sofa and seating him at the head of the dinner table. Damian crawled back out from the shadows and proposed to sit the furthest away from Tim. His arms crossed and his refusal to look at Tim made me feel even more worried.

"Who wants to pray for dinner?" Dick asked. Nobody spoke up, just glancing at each other with humorous eyes or pointing at each other through their expression. _You go. No you go first._ He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I'll pray. I'm getting you back next time." They all bowed their heads and closed their eyes. "Dear Lord, thank you for this beautiful weather. Thank you for giving Tim back to us… uh… Lord, Dear Jesus, You brilliant being, uh. We just pray that you would bless this meal… uh oh Heavenly Father… in Jesus's name we pray. Amen." They all said "amen" together and began to dig in.

Jason smirked at Dick "You're going to keep running out of synonyms for God if you keep praying like that."

Dick shook his head "Hey, at least I'm praying." He bit into the pizza, it was not as good as NYC pizza, obviously, but was still the best thing he ate in a long while. He looked around the table secretly taking note of everyone.

Jason took the liberty of wiping his greasy hand on Tim while the younger teen tried to smack the older man with his good arm. Cass appreciatively licked her fingers and smacked her lips after having a sip of the fizzy soda. However, Damian was hardly eating anything. He just glared at the pizza, but Dick could see past his facade. Damian's back was slightly hunched and he wrinkled his glabela, betraying signs of grief, grouch and/or guilt (Dick called them his three g's). Dick frowned, he would have to talk to Damian later.

The night drew by insanely quickly and Tim, Jason and Cass had decided to retire into their respective rooms, Dick stopped Damian from going to bed with them.

"Wait, Dami." Damian stopped in his tracks and folded his arms.

"What, Grayson?"

Dick motioned Damian to sit on the couch with him and put his arm over Damian. Damian immediately smacked Dick on the hand, hard, and tried to run away. Before he could, the older man grabbed his hand and pulled the boy to him.

"What's wrong, kiddo?" Dick looked straight into Damian's piercing blue eyes and attempted to put emotion and understanding into his own.

"What's wrong is that a 26 year old man is trying to prevent a 13 year old child from getting the sleep he deserves."

"Damian," Dick spoke calmly, ignoring Damian's snap "I know there's something wrong, you've been avoiding the family and I ever since Tim got shot."

Damian looked uncomfortable in his own body, his body weight shifting from foot to foot and his eyes looking constantly at his bedroom door.

"Hey, you know you can tell me anything right?"

Damian looked at his feet and his lips curled in disgust as if he was about to chew down brussel sprouts (which he hated, but Alfred made him eat). "I have a feeling… that you may be disappointed in me."

The corner of Dick's lip curled up, "Are you afraid that I'll be disappointed in you?"

Damian scoffed "Of course not, I don't care about how you feel, Grayson. And I'm certainly not afraid of anything!"

A chuckle left Dick's lips "Sure thing, little D."

Damian rolled his eyes at the nickname, which Dick knew he hated. "Fine… I think I might've been the cause of Tim's accident."

Dick frowned, earning the stiffening of Damian's body. He brushed the boy's arm to ensure him, "Don't worry I'm not upset. Why do you think you were the cause of Tim's accident?"

"I had a fight with him that morning, which prompted him to leave breakfast early," Damian stopped and thought. Then he quickly spoke "It's all his fault, he tried to pour orange juice in my cereal."

Dick laughed and shook his head. Damian scowled at him and huffed. "It's not funny, Richard."

"None of this was your fault."

"It's all my fault, if I hadn't argued with him, he would've stayed home longer. He wouldn't have been at the wrong place at the wrong time."  
Dick grabbed Damian's hands which made the small teen look away in defiance. "That's exactly it, he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn't your fault, I promise you."

Damian was quiet for a few minutes. So Dick just sat on the sofa while Damian stood up, letting Dick hold his hands. They were both in comfortable silence, when Damian piped up.

"You were never this religious when Father was still around. I've been wondering, why now?"

Dick shrugged and replied "I had a couple of books lying around about the Bible but I never really looked into them. But I guess, I've heard about so many people finding their lives through their religions, I wanted to give it a try. When Bruce was gone, I felt really lost. I didn't know what to do, so I found guidance in the books I had. I guess I latched on to this religion cause of those books in my room and I think I found a place in it."

Damian was silent again. "I don't know if I'm comfortable with believing right now."

Dick gave Damian a hug. "It's okay, if you don't feel comfortable. Just know that I'll be here for you no matter what and that I'll help you guide you when you feel lost."

Dick could feel Damian breathing on his head, each exhale making his strands move slightly. Soon, he could feel Damian getting restless in his embrace, so Dick gave the boy one last tight squeeze before releasing him.

"Dick, why does God allow bad things to happen?"

Dick blinked, unexpecting this sudden, insightful question.

"I mean, why did Tim have to be shot? Why not stop the shooter at all?"

Dick sighed and leaned back into the couch. "I'm getting there Dami, I don't know the answer yet, but I'm getting there. Maybe we can go to a church on Sunday and see if we can ask someone. Would you like that?" Damian just gave a slight shrug and went off to his room. Dick smiled and walked into his own bedroom, slipping underneath the covers with his sleeping, younger brother.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

This was humiliating. It was the morning after, their little pizza party to celebrate little Timmy's return home. Jason's lip curled in jealousy. He never got a party when he came back from juvie.

All he remembered was Bruce's disappointed look and the rest of the kids, too frightened to meet their brother who had been locked up in child prison for three years. Dick and Alfred were the only ones who greeted Jason successfully. Dick, giving Jason a clap on the back and a "Missed you, brother"; while Alfred gave Jason a most warm welcome and an offer of his favorite tea and crackers.

Jason shivered, he could still remember the frightened eyes little Tim, Cass and Damian had, watching him move about the mansion. They watched his every move, making sure he wouldn't do anything, _Jason_-like. Except the psycho-midget.

Damian Wayne watched him with more reproach in his eyes than fear. Where did that kid even come from? Dang, Jason had only been gone for three years and Bruce had gotten himself two replacement children and a mistake. Was Bruce interested in starting a collection or something?

A muffled hiss of pain snapped Jason back to the present. He glanced down at his hand, accidently sponging Tim Drake's bullet wound. He realized where he was. Right. Humiliating.

Jason was in the apartment's tiny bathroom, in a tiny tub, sponging down a vertically challenged, naked 16 year old. "My bad," Jason said in an unapologetic tone.

Tim, perhaps sensing Jason's slight disgust and apprehension. "Trust me, this is probably more embarrassing for me than for you. I'm the one without clothes on here."

Jason put his sponge down. "I don't understand why Dick couldn't do it. He's the responsible one," he whined. Tim rolled his eyes at his older brother.

"Just finish it, quickly," Tim growled. Jason quickly and efficiently wiped off Tim and perhaps even more quickly (but less efficiently) in the more embarrassing parts. Tim shuddered as Jason wrapped a long, fluffy towel around his little brother.

Jason shuddered and left the bathroom, leaving the door open and Tim, yelling at Jason to close the door.

Jason walked over to the living room area, where Cass perched on the window sill, watching a ballet performance on their small, wrecked television screen. "Cass, where's Dick?"

Cass's eyes barely left the screen and she barely moved from her position to acknowledge Jason. "Work."

Oh. That's why he asked Jason to wash off Tim. Jason had been so used to seeing Dick this entire week, that he forgot that his older brother had an actual job. "What are you watching, Cass?"

Cass crouched where she was still, completely immersed by the performance she was witnessing in front of her own eyes. "Ballet… re-... re-... reena…". Her mouth twisted as she struggled with her own words.

Jason pitied her, "Reenactment."

"Reenactment… Macbeth."

Jason chuckled, "I thought making or saying Macbeth was bad luck."

"No… only… saying… in... performance."

Jason just sat there, feeling stupid. Thankfully, Cass didn't acknowledge his mistake, so they both sat there together peacefully. He didn't know when the last time they sat together like this was. It was definitely before Bruce had passed, the days after his passing had been… hectic.

Unfortunately, their peace was broken as Tim frantically rushed into the living room, tripped over the rug and fell hard on his side. Jason and Cass rushed towards Tim and began checking him all over.

"Jeez, Replacement. Stop acting like you're a chicken without any brain cells." Jason quickly assessed Tim's landing. He didn't land on his injured arm, which was good. He wasn't hit hard on his head, thankfully, Tim's control over his body beat inertia in that aspect.

Jason watched as Cass sighed of relief, allowing himself to breath too. If Cass couldn't find anything, there wasn't anything. But still, Tim was still moving about frantically.

"Damn it Tim, what's wrong?" Jason growled at his younger brother.

Tim scrunched his eyebrows in frustration and pointed to his face.

"What? Just say it! What's wrong with you?" Jason yelled. His tirade was soon cut off when Cass put her hand on his arm. Cass and her amazing ability to calm down the family.

"Lockjaw," she said pointing to Tim's mouth. It was true, Tim's mouth was stuck in a weird position in which his teeth were clenched and out in the open.

Jason cursed under his breath and immediately went on his phone to search up solutions on fixing Tim's lockjaw. Too impatient to scroll anymore on his phone, Jason immediately tried prying open Tim's mouth. Tim cried out in pain and jerked his head away from Jason's hands.

Jason stared at Tim in disbelief, he had never seen Tim like this. The Tim Drake he knew only showed his vulnerability to the Golden Boy or to the Father, the Tim Drake he knew wasn't the small boy, crying his eyes out from pain.

Tim's blue eyes seemingly got even bluer as tears rapidly fell out of his eyes. His jaw was spasming, a new addition to the lock jaw that wasn't there until Jason tried fixing him his own way.

"Jason," Cass said firmly, "no… force." She left the room and came back with a heat pack and placed it on Tim's jaw. "Relaxes… muscles…".

Jason paced the living room back and forth, not able to hide his concerns for Tim's newly developed side effects from his bullet surgery. He decided that the most sensible thing to do was to text the older brother from another mother some updates on their other bro.

No more than fifteen minutes later after he had sent the text, had Dick sent back paragraphs and paragraphs of text messages. The Golden Boy was asking for more updates and frantically asking Jason what they should do.

The most sensible thing was to go to the hospital and get him checked out, but there was a problem. Money. Dick barely got enough with an entry level job of $40,000 a year to handle all the kids AND to pay rent and bills. He had just finished paying off the hospital bills for Tim's surgery, which was about 4 years of work and savings. They weren't covered by insurance, making it extremely difficult to get Tim the medical attention he needed.

So what to do? Jason sat on a dining chair and put his arms on the table and rested his head on it. He could hear Tim's whimpering and Cass's whispers of comfort to him. He was glad that the two were getting along with each other so well, they would need it in order to get through this mess.

Then Jason did what he least expected. Shocking Tim and Cass as well, Jason walked over to the both of them and Jason placed a hand on Tim's shoulder and squeezed. Tim watched with tears running down his face, wanting to hug Jason, but respecting his boundaries. Cass nodded in approval and smiled at Jason.

/

It was two hours later, Dick was back home and Damian came back from doing whatever he was doing. Dick had literally rushed passed the door without a passing glance at Jason or Cass and bolted towards his room, where they had set Tim to rest.

"Miss you too, Goldie," Jason called out after Dick. There was only silence coming out from the room the eldest had disappeared into. Then, both Cass and Jason heard little tinkles of laughter coming out from that room, presumably from Tim, the only member in the family (other than Cass) who had such a fairy-like giggle.

Damian strolled through the door only a few seconds later. He had a slight strut to his step and held his head up high. He paused for a moment seeing Cass and Jason, before curtly nodding at them and headed towards their room.

"Strange kid," Jason murmured to Cass "I wonder what he's been up to." Cass looked at Jason and patted his arm and left after Damian. The five of them, all dog-tired, went straight to bed right there and then, shoving their worries off to the future.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

"He couldn't open his jaw…"

"Stiffness…"

"... just be tight muscles."

"... could have... lockjaw?"

"Tetanus…"

"... bills?"

Cass didn't have to press her ear against the door. It wasn't hard to hear Dick and Jason's voices through the door, considering both of them had rather loud voices and the walls were thin.

She laid on the floor on a thin rug in the living room, surrounded by pillows and blankets the entire family gathered to have a fun "sleepover" in the living room the night before. All four of them slept on the hard floor, resulting in each one of them having sore hips and a runny nose in the morning. Tim, on the other hand, woke up perfectly normal, having to sleep on the couch that night.

Tim had rolled off the bed and gently landed on the floor, right next to Cass. Not wanting to wake him up, Cass lightly and efficiently rearranged Tim's injured arm and placed his head on her pillow.

Now, Cass had one arm around Tim, both listening to their two eldest brothers arguing and the other arm around Damian, who was still sleeping. She was careful not to move either arm and all three of them laid perfectly still on the ground.

The voices behind the door died down and Cass could hear the _tip taps_ of their feet walking towards the door of the living room. Cass and Tim quickly rearranged themselves to pretend to be sleeping.

The door gently pushed open and the vibrations the feet made seemed to be getting stronger. The room was a little quiet except for a bit of rustling of blankets and breathing. Then, Cass felt a finger poke her cheek.

Her eyes flew open and Dick Grayson's smiling face was only inches away from her own. "You know that you'll have to try harder to fake sleeping than that, right?" the young man cackled. Cass simply shot a face at him and pushed herself up so that her elbows sat on the floor and her back was lifted off the floor.

"You too, Timbo." Tim simply groaned and flipped over to sleep on his side. Jason smirked and looked at Damian. "This one's still asleep."

Dick yawned and stretched his arms out to the sky. 'Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry. I'm going to go make breakfast, you kids play nice." The door closed behind him and Jason turned to the two younger teens and gestured at them with a "shushing" motion.

Cass and Tim watched as Jason plucked a strand of hair from his head and very carefully rubbed it against Damian's ears. Tim sucked in his breath and Cass made sure to move away from the small child as quickly and carefully as possible. Jason had a maniacal expression on his face as he began rubbing even harder, Cass began to wonder if his need for bothering Damian simply threw his common sense out of the window.

Suddenly, Damian's eyes shot open and slowly drifted up to Jason's face. His eyes narrowed like a cat's and he leapt up to try to scratch his face. His nails left bright red scratch marks that dragged from Jason's eyebrow down to his jaw.

"Ow!" Cass and Tim started laughing, watching Jason hold the side of his face and shook his head.

The door banged open with Dick holding a spatula wearing an apron that said "Daddy's Little Romani Princess". Everyone stared at Dick's face, it was a sight like no other. His face, which he tried so hard to keep beautiful and precious had been ruined by his expression of a fish gasping for water. His eyes bulged open and his mouth gaped. His hair was a mess and he had a smudge of grease across his face.

"What happened? Who's hurt?" Dick yelled into the empty air. We stared at him and slowly stared back at each other. Every one of us burst out laughing. Damian rolled on the ground, roaring with laughter. Tim held his injured arm to keep his hard laughter from injuring it further. Jason snorted and guffawed so hard, tears began to stream from his eyes. Cass simply wheezed through her laughter, unable to make any sounds as her abdominals squeezed hard and gave her a stomach cramp.

"What's so funny?" Dick demanded, once everyone's laughter had died down. "I know I'm funny and all, but I don't think I made a joke. What was the punchline?"

Jason snorted and slapped his hand across his mouth.

"Your face." He snorted again and everyone started their second round of laughter, nowhere near completing it. Dick rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. He stomped off to go finish making breakfast.

The rest of the day passed lazily with everyone taking shifts to watch Tim. Everyone was still shaken by the events that had occurred a few days ago and refused to let Tim out of their sight. Nobody minded this new change except for Tim.

Cass could tell by the crinkle of his eyebrows, slight pout and narrowed eyes that he was starting to get extremely annoyed by the constant attention. Instead of acknowledging his siblings and chatting about nothing, he was glued to his phone and turned his back on whoever was on their watch shift.

6 o'clock was Cass's shift, and she was determined to make Tim less annoyed and angry about his circumstance. She strolled into the room, sat in the same chair that Jason had sat in the previous shift and cocked her head onto her shoulder, looking curiously at Tim.

Tim refused to look at her and continued to scroll on social media. Cass curiously leaned forwards to see the page that Tim had opened on his phone. He was on Instagram, constantly refreshing and refreshing, even though he knew that new content wouldn't appear.

Cass stood up abruptly, making Tim jolt and look at her. She smiled at him kindly and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. "Do you need some time alone?"

Tim's red rimmed eyes opened wide, "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."

Cass shook her head "I get it… too many… eyes." Tim looked down at his lap, ashamed and fidgeted his fingers around a ring that Cass had given him for his birthday. "If… you don't say… I won't say." She smiled wider and unlatched the window to bring it up.

Tim smiled back, "You're my coolest sister." Cass turned around, this time, perched on the window. Her eyes shimmered and smiled.

"I'm your only sister." She leapt out of the window and onto the fire escape. Cass's eyes narrowed, blinded by the sun, a source of light she hadn't seen in a while due to the fact that she had been cooped up in her tiny apartment 24/7. She took a moment to breathe in the fresh air (as fresh as Crime Alley air went).

Despite the grime and dirt Crime Alley was covered in, the constant smell of urine from the sewers and drunk people staggering all over its streets, vomiting onto the ground; there were some aspects that Cass did appreciate.

She had learned to appreciate and not take normalcy for granted, after spending so long trapped in a crack house with her father. Life in the crack house was very limiting, she was never taught anything and was never allowed outside. All she knew were the peeling wallpaper and the never ending cold and how to cut down the price of coke using baby powder.

Cass had never even known there was such a variety of food to be eaten! She was raised up on only oatmeal, broccoli and eggs, but she never knew anything more, so she never complained. When she was taken from the rat infested streets, Bruce had brought her to Hong Kong. She experienced sights, smells and sounds that she had never known before.

Cass smiled wistfully, leaning on the fire escape rail and she remembered the first time she tried orange juice. It was a Saturday, back at the manor. Alfred had just finished making breakfast and was asking all of the bat kids for their drink preferences. Dick had hot chocolate, Tim had his coffee (again), Jason tried to get away with asking for alcohol (again) and Bruce simply grunted and Alfred knew to pour him coffee. However, Damian had wanted to have a drink of orange juice, Cass curiously tilted her head because she knew the word "juice", but not "orange''.

Alfred came back to the table with a tall glass of what seemed to look like radioactively colored milk. Cass remembered how excited she was and when it came time for her to decide her drink, she went with orange juice. The cup was set down in front of her and Cass took a big gulp of orange juice.

She remembered Jason gaping at her and Dick putting a hand over his mouth to repress a chuckle. Cass remembered the slight burning sensation and the tingly feeling the liquid left on her throat after she finished swallowing it. She licked her teeth and felt the weirdly clumpy feeling the juice had left behind. But it was delicious! Cass savored every single drop of the cold, sweet and sour drink.

Cass sighed and remembered after coming out of that horrible place she grew up in, she began to count her blessings. She would list all the things she was grateful for. Cass was forever indebted to Bruce Wayne and she promised to always watch over his boys.

Cass came back to reality and remembered that she was now in a small, cramped apartment with four other boys of various ages. She could only now smell the urine and vomit, festering throughout the streets of Crime Alley. _Think only good, Cass_, she thought to herself.

The slender girl raised her head up to glance at the sunset, which she could barely see because of the crowding buildings. _List._

Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian.

Tim is okay.

Bakery downstairs… bagel smell.

Summer… no school.

Tree outside window… colors.

Sunset… beautiful.

Cass smiled once more. This place was a horrible place, but it was _her_ horrible place. She recalled everything that she had just thought of, everything that made her _happy_. Home is where family is. Home is happiness.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading/reviewing! 3**

**Stay safe and stay healthy, folks!**

**Chapter 5:**

Tim pretended that he was a tightrope walker. He carefully put one foot in front of another, slightly tipping over each step he took. The bright sunlight and the rustling of the leaves fed into his daydream. The light became a spotlight and the rustling became people reaching for their popcorn. He could almost smell the peanuts, candy and elephant dung. Tim giggled wildly and took another step forward.

_"Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Introducing the Fantastic Flosswalker!" the ringmaster announced. Tim felt the cool circus air and his adrenaline pumping from the audience applauding. Tim raised his arms and waved, grinning from ear to ear like he had never done before._

_ Tim took a step forward, another… and another. Tim walked quickly across the rope with his arms spread wide like a robin's. He reached halfway across the line when the rope bounced down. The audience gasped, but Tim simply smiled, reassuring everyone that this was all part of an act._

_ "He takes one step… and another! The 7 year old child prodigy has almost reached the other side of the rope!" _

_Tim took one step closer to the finish line, when an unexpected gust of wind blew the tent away. The audience was soon to follow… then the smell of elephant poop… the ringmaster…. The wind blew dirt into Tim's eyes making them water and squint. Tim tried to blink away the dirt and regain his balance and composure. Then the rope snapped like a rubber band and Tim fell down… down… down…_

CRACK! A cry echoed out against the serene scene of the woods. Tim's head smacked against the floor, making him see a flash of light before squeezing his eyes shut on impact. Thankfully, his oversized parka cushioned the rest of his body, sparing the 7 year old from any additional injuries.

Tim heard a tsk. He looked up, squinting at the path in front of him, looking for his parents. His mother and his father were about 3 meters away from him, looking down at him. Tim instantly felt a rush of fear and shame, frustration and nothing at the same time.

"Get up Timothy," his mother called out to him "We're going to be late."

The lack of comfort his parents gave him and a feeling of sticky, warm liquid dripping from his head was too much for little Timothy. He instantly felt tears prickle in the back of his eyes and snot threatening to spill out of his nose. He whined and angrily got up.

"Why are you crying? You have nothing to cry about," his father demanded. That did it for Tim, he lowered his head and tears began to leak out of his eyes. Small sobs began to rack his body and there was no one to still it. Tim began to cry even louder, half from anger and grief and the other half hoping to gain at least a little bit of comfort from his stoic parents.

"You keep crying, we give you something to cry about," his mother warned.

"Janet-"

"Jack, I can't believe this. You can't just let your child step all over you like that. Assert your dominance, don't grow soft on him, he needs to learn to be a man."

"Can we just have that calming, marriage healing trip that we planned for four months?" Tim's father asked.

"I don't see how shooting _guns_ and hunting are going to fix our marriage." Tim stumbled behind his parents as they continued arguing, not noticing the tears tapering off or the blood dripping from their son's scalp. Tim sniffed once or twice and hiccups ricocheted out of his body once in a while, but he had mostly calmed down.

The dysfunctional family had reached a clearing. The field was out and open, the skies were bright blue and there was not a single shadow in sight. It was in the middle of summer but the climate was cool and dry, just the way Tim liked it.

The clearing stood on top of a cliff and gave way to the beautiful scenery of Glacier, Montana. Tim looked out at the scenery in awe, staring in disbelief at the goats scattered around the area and the snow blowing across the summer sky. There were huckleberry shrubs growing around the area and little chipmunks running about, not afraid of the three strangers sitting in their area.

"Tim, come here." Tim turned around to see his father holding a rifle and loading it. His father held his hand out for Tim to grasp onto it. "We're going into the woods while your mother sets up a picnic alright?"

Tim nodded and followed him. They had walked for a couple of minutes when Tim piped up "What are we doing?"

His father smiled at him "Use your brain, Tim. What's the gun for? Why are we going into the woods and not in the clearing?"

Tim's brain instantly lit up and his eyes went to the gun and back to his father. "We're going to kill something. If we were going to practice shooting, we would've done it in the clearing, where there was enough space."

"Atta-boy." Tim smiled wide, he high fived himself in his brain for having earned an "atta-boy" from his father. "Tim, let me tell you. Shooting animals is an American boy's dream. It's their right to manhood. Girls get their sweet 16th but boys get to learn how to use their own guns. You want to be a man, right?"

Tim excitedly nodded, anything his father wanted, he wanted. "I want to be a big, strong man! Just like you daddy!" He glanced up at his father, hoping from another smile or a ruffling of his hair.

However, his father just kept walking without so much as a glance at Tim. The small boy hunched over in disappointment but kept up his pace.

"Shhh!" His father stuck his arm in front of Tim to stop him. Jack Drake pointed to an object in front of them. "Do you see that?" he whispered.

There was a beautiful doe, calmly nursing her two fawns. Tim watched in awe as the strange creature nuzzled it's children and blinked at the two strangers. Then Tim's stomach instantly filled with dread and regret when he remembered why they were watching the creatures in the first place.

"Your mother has been missing a mantlepiece for a while now, she's always bothering me for one. Which one do you think will look best on our fireplace, Tim?"

Tim's face instantly drained of color and began tugging on his father's jacket. "Do we need to shoot one? Can we go look for another deer?"

Jack frowned at him "Don't you want to have your first kill? This might be the only chance we get."

"I'm sure, yeah. Can we go back now?" Tim whined. Jack shook his head at Tim in disappointment and lined the shotgun to the head of the doe.

The beautiful creature looked straight at the two, not worried about anything, not knowing that all of its life would drain out in a few seconds. Tim's stomach rolled over, the beautiful creature's children wouldn't have a mother anymore.

His father pushed on the trigger and Tim screamed. The shot seemingly echoed throughout the entire forest. Bird wings were flapping and leaves had rustled and landed on the ground. Tim felt the gunshot echo in his ears and continued to do so in his mind.

He covered his eyes and Jack stood up and stretched. "That's one beautiful centerpiece we've got. Your mother is gonna love this!"

Tim peeked behind his fingers and saw that the fawns had fled. The doe was out of sight because it had fallen onto the ground. The young boy slowly got up to get a glimpse of the carnage.

Tim gasped in shock when he looked at the carrion. It was him. His father had shot Tim. He looked at his father to see his reaction. Jack simply swung dead Tim over his shoulder and smiled at him sympathetically. "It's such a shame that you didn't take a shot at it."

Tim screamed and jolted up in bed. Then he remembered where he was, home. Tim pinched himself and took a couple of deep breaths, gulping down the oxygen he so desired. He clung onto his chest, feeling his heartbeat rapidly and his shirt clinging to his sweaty body.

His eyes scanned the room, the sunlight had filled the room, uncovering the dust that floated throughout the room. Sunlight… Tim turned his head to look at the time alarm clock on the bed stand next to him. _2:03 PM_, it read. 2:03? How long had he slept?

Tim began to start panicking again, fearing that he had begun to lose his grip on reality. Another image of his dead body from his dream resurfaced and suddenly, the room began to become suffocating.

It was all too much for Tim, old wounds and new wounds working together to bring him down. All his insecurities and trauma that had happened over the course of his life reappeared. The gunshots, loss of innocence, the pressure from his parents and the _neglect_.

Tim knew that he was surrounded by love. Cass, Dick, Jason and heck, Damian loved him. But the nightmare made him feel oh so alone again. Tim curled up and placed his head on his knees and began to hyperventilate.

He heard the door burst open and Dick rush in. The older man kneeled in front of him and placed a hand on Tim's cheek. "Tim? Tim!"

Tim gripped Dick's hands until his knuckles turned white. He could feel his lungs burning, he was breathing so hard but none of the oxygen was reaching his lungs. "Help," Tim choked out "I can't breathe."

Tim could feel Dick wrapping his arms around him and he tightly squeezed him. "Tim, I want you to count after me, okay?" Tim didn't respond, he could feel tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. _I'm going to die, I'm going to die._

"Timbo, you're going to be okay. Just trust me," Tim's eyes snapped back to Dick's. Tim felt the man's hands around his face, trying to ground him to reality. "One… two… three," with each number, Dick tapped his arm with his hand.

"one…. " Tim gasped.

"Uno… dos… tres… " Dick said patiently.

"uno… dos… tres… "

"Un… deux… trois…"

"Un… deux… trois…" Tim repeated, stronger. Dick continued, saying the three numbers in different languages, with Tim not far behind. He went through Italian to Thai to Romani and ended with Cantonese.

"Yut, ee, sam,"

"Yut, ee, sam," Tim replied, confidently.

"Atta-boy!" There it was again. Tim was reminded of the awful dream he had prior to his meltdown. Tim felt his stomach squeeze tightly and recoil. He shoved Dick's hand away from his face, mentally apologizing to him in his head and ran down the hall to the bathroom.

Tim barely made it to the toilet before he began puking his guts out into the toilet. He felt more tears spring up into his eyes by reflex everytime he hurled and felt his stomach clench. Tim felt a hand on his back, making the room spin and him to grip harder on the toilet seat.

Once Tim was done throwing up his dinner (he didn't eat breakfast) and stomach acid, he was left gagging on air and attempting to take deep breaths. The hand on his back made circling motions, attempting to calm down his stomach.

Tim felt another person come into the bathroom. The small pats on the floor signaled to him that this person was lighter in weight. _Damian._ Tim was prepared to listen to a tirade about how stupid he was and that he was adopted and not a blood brother. Instead, a cup of water appeared next to him. Tim looked up in surprise, he could see Damian get caught off guard when Tim looked at him. Damian simply scoffed and looked away.

"I've always known you were such a mess, Drake. Just take the water."

Tim simply took the water and rinsed out his mouth before drinking the rest. "Thanks, Dami."

The youngest's shoulders went slightly lax as he turned around and left. Tim shivered and turned around to the person who had a hand on his back. It was Dick, his cerulean blue eyes, rimmed red with lack of sleep and anxiety. He smiled and rubbed Tim's messy hair.

"You okay?"

Tim smiled back "Yeah, just a bad nightmare."

Dick grabbed Tim and squeezed him into a hug and kissed his sweaty forehead. He made a face and wiped his lips against Tim's shirt. Tim laughed "Eww… rub it on yourself."

"Nah, your sweat, your shirt," Dick chuckled. They sat there for a couple of minutes. Tim was thankful for the silence and the cold floor, pressing against his warmer body. He inhaled Dick's scent, the Pantene shampoo he used when he took showers in the morning, printer paper and even the jelly doughnuts he ate at the police station. Tim giggled at that and snuggled deeper into his shirt.

Dick rubbed his arm. "Gosh, you're so cute, kid. You're killing me."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you for all the reviews and reads, I'm glad to see that you guys enjoy my story :)**

**For clarification: These are the ages of the babies-**

**Dick-** 26 years old

**Cass- **19 years old

**Jason-** 19 years old

**Tim-** 16 years old

**Damian-** 13 years old

**Chapter 6:**

The heavy metal doors swung open inside and the cold hair hit Damian like a brick wall. He involuntarily shuddered and flinched, feeling the goosebumps tingle on both of his arms. For once, he let Grayson tightly grip his shoulders.

Damian looked around the large room, the church building was fairly large and modern, not like one of those dusty, rotting ones he had seen on the Internet. His eyes widened with surprise as he took in the sheer amount of people talking to one another. Different people of different ages and races, talking to each other.

Damian involuntarily grabbed Dick's arm and held on to him tight. The anxiety Damian felt had hit him like a brick wall, he hadn't ever felt that anxious around anyone or anywhere. Damian hadn't noticed that he had begun gripping onto his older brother's T-shirt until Dick had begun to wrestle his shirt out of Damian's hand.

"You okay, little D?"

Damian looked up at his concerned brother and looked back down at where his hand had gripped Dick's t-shirt. He scoffed and flung the t-shirt as far as he could from his body. He turned away from Dick and refused to look in his direction.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Damian simply ignored him. He didn't need this mothering from Dick, he was strong, not afraid of anything. Nothing could hurt him, whatever Dick had seen was false. Apparently not only was his body flexible, but so were his eyes, misshaping the curvature of the eyeball to the point where it wasn't possible to see anything.

"Damian, your hands are clammy. Look at me Damian." When Damian refused to turn back around to look at his brother, Dick reached out and twisted his head around to face him. His large hand instantly covered Damian's forehead. Damian closed his eyes, ultimately giving up against rebelling against Dick's motherly instincts.

"You're not feverish, are you okay?" Dick got down to Damian's level, imploring him to talk with his brilliant blue eyes. Damian felt something stir in his soul, his heart. He was so tired, so very tired. Too tired of feeling guilty, of putting up walls to seem strong, only to be seen as a douche (excuse his french). Too tired to act like someone he wasn't.

Damian surged forward and gave a bone crushing hug to Dick. His exhaustion caused tears to come up into his eyes, his exhaustion caused him to slump forward, his exhaustion made him feel empty.

He could feel Dick being taken aback when Damian wrapped his arms around him. He hesitated and then reached out and folded his arms around Damian. Damian could feel him rubbing circles around on his back, just like father used to do when they couldn't sleep.

Damian brushed Dick's hair behind his ear and brought his hand to cup his ear. "I'm scared…"

Dick nodded against his shoulder and patted his arm to motion him to keep going. "They won't like me, I'm an awful person. They look so… comfortable with each other, but I know that they won't get used to me. I… I don't belong here."

His brother released him from his hug and looked Damian in the eyes. He began to rub small circles against Damian's cheeks. Dick smiled at him.

"A church is a hospital for the detestable, weak and the sick; not a place for the healthy. Nobody is completely healthy, all of us have things that we've done wrong in the past. Everyone belongs here," Dick brushed his thumb against Damian's eyelashes "It is wrong to deny anyone from coming here, just as it is wrong to deny anyone medical help. Nobody will judge you for who you are."

Damian huffed and dropped his heavy head onto his older brother's shoulders. "I'm still a… a little nervous."

Dick beamed at him "It's alright, let me show you that people are friendly here." He looked over his shoulder and yelled "Hey Babs! Wanna meet my brother?" Damian immediately freezed and stiffened, straightening his spine to make himself look more presentable and mature.

A spunky looking red haired girl in a wheelchair pulled up to the two. She wore a teal blouse and donned jorts. She grinned from ear to ear and was holding a large plastic box with one hand and held her other hand out to Damian.

"Hey, you must be Damian." Damian looked at her hand and shook it.

"You must be Barbara Gordon, my older brother has told me a lot about you."

Barbara instantly blushed and wrinkled her nose, looking up at Dick with a cheeky smile.

"Has he?" Damian realized his mistake a little too late when Dick bashfully rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and grinned sheepishly. The three silently stared and smiled at each other awkwardly.

Barbara cleared her throat "Anyways, Damian this is your first time coming to service right?" Damian nodded curtly and Barbara then opened the large box and presented Damian with a slice of apple pie.

"Then I'll treat you with a slice of apple pie."

/

Cass held onto Tim as he went through another spasm, his jaw clenched tight as his neck seized in waves. She rubbed his back to bring out any knots that had formed from the neurotoxins that ran in his veins (Clost-dri-um? Tet-ani?).

A cross between a hitch and a moan sound came out of his throat and he gripped onto Cass' leg harder as his neck shook once more. His breathing was shallow, Cass noticed.

They were both lying on the couch watching a live concert on T.V. when Tim had suddenly collapsed onto Cass' lap. His neck had begun to spasm and Cass could see the muscles moving in a repetitive motion under his skin. Cass watched, her heart breaking little by little as she watched her baby brother go into phases of pain and fits of uncontrollable movements over and over again.

Cass could tell the situation was getting worse. Tim could no longer breath as well as he did the first time he had a spasm. The spasms had also spread from his jaw to his neck and he woke up everyday with his back extremely stiff. She had done some research on tetanus (an assumption) and discovered that sometimes victims would have a hard time breathing. The victims could also have seizures with extreme pain and when the neurotoxins approached one's heart… At that point she logged off the computer and stared at the blank screen, unmoving and frozen with fear.

It hadn't gotten to the point of fatality, but it was inevitable so long as Tim remained untreated. Poor Tim.

The door slammed open, interrupting Cass' thoughts and she bolted up into a fighting stance, shielding herself and her brother. It was Jason.

Cass sighed with relief and flumped back down onto the dirty, raggedy sofa and continued to rub deep circles into Tim's back. Tim's spasm stopped, but he remained curled up onto Cass' lap.

Jason had a wide grin plastered on his face and was holding a pile of clothes and rushed into the living room. He sat down next to Cass and put an arm around her drawing her close.

"Guess what?" He asked excitedly. Cass couldn't help but smile back, she hadn't seen him this happy in a while, it was very out of character for him.

"Shopping?" Cass asked, pointing at the pile of clothes with her chin.

"Kind of, I got a job at the mall!"

Cass' eyes lit up and patted Jason on the back. "Good job!"

Jason grinned but his smile mellowed when he looked at Tim, sleeping on Cass' lap. "I thought that I should get a job to help with expenses. Timmy might need to go to the doctor's and it's going to be really hard paying for it."

Cass hummed and tapped a rhythm onto Jason's arm with her finger. "I...job too."

They both sat in silence waiting, waiting for nothing. Both watched Tim as he took shallow breaths, his eyes fluttering at every inhale and relaxing at every exhale.

"He's getting worse isn't he?" Jason said, reaching out for Tim. His hands hesitated, stopping right before he could touch his face. Cass hummed an encouragement and Jason relaxed his hands to slightly brush each side of Tim's face.

"Yes… needs doctor soon." Cass murmured. They sat together in comfortable silence, Jason still massaging the baby bird's face and tracing the bony frame of his skull.

**I'm so sorry, I really REALLY hate this chapter and I am SO unhappy too. I've rewritten this chapter multiple times but I still HATE this so much. I see in the foreseen future that the next chapters are going to be better.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

**Warning: Vomit and Feces Graphically Described! If you get easily triggered by this, please skip this chapter! There's not really much plot involved, just a little bit of character development and lots of fluff!**

Tim bent over the toilet seat for the third time that day, hugging the round, cool sides to combat the beads of sweat that had begun to sprout from his pores. He tapped his head against the toilet cover, leaning into the stone cold that he had longed for since this entire gunshot fiasco started.

Tim could feel tears sprouting from his tear ducts, he grinded his teeth against each other. He was just _so _frustrated! He hated feeling this way, he hated how everything hurt when he walked, he hated how he would just spasm at random moments, he hated how everything spun around him, he hated how whenever he sat up he needed to rush to the bathroom, he hated, he hated, he hated!

He smacked his head against the cover several times. Poor decision making skills. He felt another wave of nausea hit him and Tim was unwilling to ignore his gallbladder's demands after he had thrown up on himself when he laid down on the sofa earlier. The teen just opened his mouth and let his gallbladder and stomach do all the churning and cramping for him, allowing his contents to pour out of his body.

Tim felt the hairs on his body stand up, sending shivers down his spine and more tears involuntarily slipping from his face. He sat up wiping his mouth with his hand, he remained that way until he felt yet another churn in his stomach and jerked back towards the toilet.

The sudden movement made the dull pain in his shoulders multiply hundredfold. He gagged on his vomit and choked when the pain hit causing a monsterous cut off shout to rip out of his chest.

Tim coughed the rest of his vomit up into the toilet and spit it out in disdain. He sighed and covered his face with his hands. He felt his stomach beginning to settle when he heard the soft, muffles and rustling of feet in the living room.

He didn't need superheating in order to understand what he was hearing through the door. He could hear Cass talking to someone over the phone "He can't keep… an-anything down… not even water."

Tim sighed and rubbed his hands through his hair. He heard the door opening and he assumed that it was Cass. He leaned back so he could receive that kiss on his forehead that he always got when Cass greeted him. Unfortunately, this was not the case.

When Tim noticed that he wasn't getting that kiss, he opened his eyes slightly and groaned. It was the Demon Brat.

"What on Earth are you doing, Drake?" Damian glared at him. Well that was improvement, whatever Dick was doing, it was working. Damian was no longer snappy with him and insulting him at every turn.

"I thought you were Cass," Tim murmured. He slumped back into sitting position, slightly disappointed. He really wanted that kiss, he thought to himself glumly. He had no energy to deal with Damian's snarky remarks and was frankly done with life after that nausea episode.

"Sorry to disappoint you." Damian peered over Tim's slouching body and into the toilet with disgust. His lips curled up in disgust but his eyes and eyebrows held no menace. "Ugh."

"What do you want Damian? I'm sick, is that against the law? I've always thought you were cruel but are you this spiteful to be disgusted with me for throwing up because I was sick? Wow, I didn't know you were this low," Tim snarled at him.

Damian widened his eyes in shock and scowled at him. "Check your privilege Timothy, the world doesn't revolve around you. I was checking up on you and you just lost that opportunity." The boy swiveled around and slammed the door behind him, leaving a very confused and slightly guilty Tim, alone in the bathroom.

/

The man in the hood was chasing after him, laughing at him. He waved his gun barrel, chasing him around the street. Tim ran as fast as his short legs could go, his feet slowly starting to gloop him down into the sidewalk.

He was now swimming in the cement, he turned around. The man smiled at him with a creepy, sliced smile running down from his ears to his mouth. He laughed and pointed a gun against Tim's head. He cried out, calling for anyone who would listen.

"Help, please! Dick, Jason, Cass, Damian! Dad! Alf-" He was pulled underneath the cement, the liquid filling into his nose and mouth and every hole in his body. His chest felt like it was about to burst, he-

Tim gasped seizing at his chest, clawing for air as he bolted straight up. Dick, who had been sleeping on the other side of the bed, immediately jumped out of the covers and leaned over to Tim.

"Tim, Tim, what's wrong?" Tim remained unable to speak, just focused on gasping for air.

"Jason!" Dick frantically ran out of the bedroom and out of sight.

Tim felt the rising pressure in his chest and he began to see dark spots in his vision. He was unable to think, feel or say anything. He was just focused on the lack of oxygen in his lungs.

Dick had reappeared in the room. Tim hadn't even noticed that Dick had come back, that's when he knew that this was bad.

He felt himself being pressed against his older brother's chest and something warming pressed against his own.

Tim could feel the magic works that the warm object had been doing, his chest began to loosen and he started to begin to breathe shallowly. He looked up to his brother's eyes.

Dick looked like he was on the verge of crying. His eyebrows scrunched up in a way that Tim could tell that he felt worried or guilty. His grip on Tim tightened and he hugged the younger man against his chest.

Tim felt Dick rest his chin on top of his head and his warmth enveloping his own body. Tim wanted to go back to sleep, but he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to breathe again and that this time, he wouldn't be able to get out of it.

"This isn't good," Dick said, breaking the silence.

Tim murmured soft nothings, his eyes getting droopy. He snuggled closer to his brother, who this time, smelled like peanuts and lemon cookies. Or was that the kitchen he was smelling? Tim couldn't tell.

"I'm sorry I couldn't take you to the doctor sooner. I'll try to as soon as possible, when we're in a safe place," Dick whispered to him.

Tim nodded and shifted his legs underneath him. His eyes began to close when he felt something foreign and wet in between his thighs. Keeping his eyes closed, he frowned. Tim shifted his legs once more to try to figure out what it was until he realized. His eyes shot open.

"Dick," he whispered. Dick's eyes immediately met his, his eyes instantly filled with worry.

"What's wrong?"  
Tim paused, his face flushed red "You can save your apologies for later because I think I just crapped myself in bed."

Dick's face went pale and he lifted the corner of the covers. Sure enough, the seat of Tim's pants were stained dark brown and red, but miraculously, none of it got onto the bed.

Tim buried his face into the covers. "I hate this, I really hate this Dick," he sobbed "I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on!"

Dick covered his nose with his fingers, trying to block out the smell. "It's alright Tim," he said confidently "I think this just happens because of your spasms. Let's try to get you cleaned up."

Dick jumped off the bed and tugged Tim with him. Tim watched as his older brother's muscles flex and strain as he lifted him off the bed by hooking his arms underneath Tim's armpits. Dick stumbled and waddled towards the bathroom, not letting Tim touch the floor, despite his bottom being the only part that was dirty.

Tim could feel Jason's eyes at the back of his head, watching the two of them curiously from the kitchen. He could feel his neck burning red from shame and quickly turned away to look down at the floor; where his clear accident had met his eyes and he was only reminded of what just occurred. He blushed red again and went back to feeling Jason's burning eyes on him.

Tim was dumped into the bathtub and was immediately stripped from head to toe. He felt his brother carefully removing each article of clothing from his body and carefully laying the less dirty parts on the toilet cover.

Soon enough, Tim was completely naked but burning red in contrast to his usual pale, translucent skin; then again, it wasn't everyday that you were a teenager being bathed by your adult brother. Despite the burning embarrassment Tim felt, he shivered from the lack of his clothes and immediately began to curl in on himself.

Dick frowned and immediately turned on the shower faucet, keeping a hand underneath it to keep the temperature in check. The moment the cold water blasted out of the faucet, some of it deflected off of Dick's hand and onto Tim's already freezing body.

"It's alright Dick," Tim said, grinding his teeth "My bullet wound is almost healed, I can shower by myself."

His older brother murmured softly "Not a chance, Timbo. I can't have you having another spasm and hitting your head against the faucet head or the tub."

Dick's words only made Tim curl into himself even more. "Please, it's embarrassing," Tim whispered.

The warm water began to rise up and met with Tim's feces-covered thighs, making the water tint yellow-brown. Dick began to detach the shower head and started to spray down the thighs and grabbed the body wash bottle from across the tub.

"I know it's embarrassing, but I value your health over your pride," Dick began moving the shower head up and down, causing the remains of Tim's accident to drip down Tim's own body and into the tub.

Dick then snapped on some rubber gloves and met Tim's eyes. Realizing that his words haven't made Tim feel better, he quickly replied "I've seen guys lots of times, besides, you're my brother, you don't need to hide anything."

Tim watched as his brother leaned over him to unclog the drain, allowing the tainted water and feces molecules to drift down into the pipes. He watched his determined brother in awe and love.

"You don't have to do this," Tim said quietly "Jason felt really embarrassed when he was wiping me down after I came home from the hospital."

Dick smiled to himself, Tim could only imagine what Dick was thinking. "Jason and I are different, I don't really mind. I take care of people I love, like you."

Tim felt a pang in his heart and reached out for his big brother. Dick quickly knelt down and scooped Tim into a hug. As Tim drew back, he realized that he had made Dick wet, with his older brother's shirt splashed with water droplets.

"Family is unconditional, Tim. No matter what, thick and thin, there's nothing that will make me love you any less. All of you, you, Cass, Jason and Damian."

Tim made a grunt in the back of his throat, making Dick chuckle. "Yes, Damian too."

Tim felt the sponge gliding over him, rubbing little bubbles all over his skin, leaving traces of patience and care in areas where Tim couldn't care less about. He instinctively laid his head on Dick's free shoulder and smiled against his shirt.

"Do you get tired sometimes?" Tim mumbled.

"All the time," Dick whispered back. He had detached the shower head again and began running the little suds off of Tim's bare arms and legs.

"When you get tired, you can tell me,' Tim replied, a breath above a whisper. The shower head made a splash into the tub's soapy water, making Tim jump.

He felt lips against his wet forehead and something warm and wet dripping from his forehead and down his nose.

"I'm really tired Tim," Dick whispered against his head. "I have been for a while."

/

"ABSOLUTELY NOT," Tim shouted, backing himself up a corner. "HELL NO."

"Tim," Jason said with a slight warning in his tone "We don't know if it's going to happen again. At this rate, we won't even know if we'll be able to get enough underwear for you."

It was the second time within three days that Tim had done a nasty in his pants. It was the second time within three days that Jason had complained about washing what was left of Tim's pants and underwear. But it was the first time within three days, within his lifespan, that Tim had a pair of Cass's pads thrown at him.

"Jason," Tim struggled weakly "Please don't make me do this."

Jason snorted at him "Trust me, you'll be even more embarrassed if you don't do this fast enough."

Tim dragged himself to the bathroom, making sure he took his sweet time walking in. Jason watched him, rolling his eyes and jumping back onto the couch. _That boy is too stubborn and prideful for his small size,_ he thought to himself.

He pinched the bridge and rubbed the sides of his temple, in a vain attempt to ward off the inevitable tension headache settling in, when he was interrupted by a small voice calling to him at the end of the hallway.

"Jas- Jason!"

Jason bolted straight up, fearing the worst and rushed to the bathroom, where he had just seen Tim walk into. He took one look and sighed with relief.

Tim was tomato red (yet again) and was covering his lower parts with his t-shirt. He fiercely glared at the piece of soft, papery material.

"I don't know how to put this on," he said, frustrated. Jason swallowed a laugh.

"How would I know, I don't get periods," Jason scoffed "Call for Cass or something." Jason stepped out of the bathroom, laughing to himself listening to his little brother cursing under his breath and calling out for Cass.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

**A/N: I'm drawing close to the end of this story, partly because I no longer feel passionate about writing this story and I realized how poorly I created this story. However, I can't leave you guys hanging so there are maybe 1 (2?) more chapters left. Maybe I can salvage the remains of this story. I think I'll be posting and revising this story on the website "Archive of Our Own," you can find me under the username "PhoJoy" if you want to see the edited (hopefully better) version.**

Jason, Cass and Dick huddled across from each other from the kitchen table, each bringing out cash and sorting them out into piles. The last couple of months had been treating them well, Cass found a well paying job as a ballet instructor at the local children's theater and both Dick and Jason got promotions with better salaries.

Dick brought out a white envelope which had been labeled "Tim's Treatment", the envelope had been growing thicker and thicker over the past for months, making the three eldest very pleased and happy. He ripped it open and poured the remaining dough onto the table and the three siblings got to work.

They sorted out the money in four piles: Rent, Necessity, Tim and Savings. Tim was obviously the immediate priority, so the majority of the money went to him, while the rest was a given. Jason sucked in his breath as he counted Tim's pile, he counted once more.

"Dickie, Cass, this still isn't enough."

Dick and Cass paled in response to Jason's revelation. Dick rubbed his temples with both hands and sighed.

"To think that with all the promotions we've gotten, all the hours we've taken. It still wasn't enough."

All three of them glumly looked at the pile. Their lives had gotten to a point to where they hardly saw Damian and Tim during each month. They had to just assume the two were fine living without their siblings as much.

Cass had started school again, which already took up half a day. She would then have to go work another 6 hours for the ballet classes and reach home around 10 pm to have to eat leftover dinner and finish homework. Jason had community college and stuffed customer service work in between classes and after college, again he would have to come home to leftovers and homework.

Dick was a different case, he was relocated to the North-East (North, north- not New Jersey or New York, but to places like Vermont/Maine). He had just come back home for the holidays and hadn't seen his family for two whole months.

Yet all of this sacrifice, all this time and effort, had yielded nothing.

A large bang shook the room and Jason and Dick jumped in their seats. Cass had slammed her fist against the table. Jason scoffed and looked away, trying to hide his embarrassment and Dick looked at Cass in awe.

"We… we have to… treat him NOW!" Cass whispered furiously. She turned to Dick "You've been… gone," and she looked at Jason "You… hardly at… home." Her voice wavered "Damian texted… me two days... ago during school. Tim… almost died… from asphyx- asphyx," Jason watched as Cass's eyes grew dark with a medley of emotions, frustration, anger, hurt.

Dick looked appalled "He stopped breathing?" He then turned to Jason, who had a matching face filled with horror. "Why didn't you tell us? Cass! We had a right to know!"

"Don't put this on her, it was only a few days ago. She could have forgotten about the text," Jason interrupted.

"No," Dick shook his head and yanked on Cass's hand to make her look at him "Cass, this isn't just some mistake, okay? Tim could have died, we need to communicate better. If you had informed us, we would have prioritized Tim and he could have gotten the help he needed."

Cass stood up, pushing her chair to the floor. She had never let out such an outburst from the moment Jason met her. "I DID! I DID TELL YOU! I TEXTED YOU AND," Cass drew in a breath, her face starting to turn tomato red "...YOU LEFT… ME ON...READ!"

Jason wanted to applaud her for standing up for herself and putting on such a performance, but Cass's sudden outburst of anger led to her outburst of tears. She stormed off into their room and slammed the door behind him.

Dick got up awkwardly and placed a hand on Jason's shoulder. Dick looked at him with eyes that read "You get me, right?".

Jason tugged a corner of his mouth "You're right, we need better communication. But you shouldn't have put all of that on Cass, communication works both ways."

Dick sighed and rubbed his neck "How did you get so wise, Jay-bird?"

Jason smirked "You've been gone for a while. I'm getting old."

Dick simply waved him off with his hand "You don't know what old is yet." He walked down the hallway to find Cass.

Jason stretched his arms back and let out a hippo yawn. He walked a circle around the living room to stretch out his legs and began to shovel all of the money back into envelopes for safe keeping. He securely fastened them in a small black box underneath a pile of books on the shelf, then slumped back and jumped onto the couch.

There was a little yelp that was let out from underneath the pillows as soon as Jason made contact with the sofa and Jason quickly jumped up from the sofa to see Tim furiously digging his way out of the pillow pile.

Jason was immediately taken aback by Tim's appearance. His cheekbones had hallowed in and his eyelids were swollen red. His hair and blue eyes no longer had a sheen to them but stayed flat and monotonous. Tim shuddered with each breath he took and was weakly clutching onto some of the pillows he was holding.

Maybe it was because he hadn't seen Tim in a while, or perhaps it was because Tim's face had weakened his resolve, but Jason hadn't wasted anytime hugging his little bro and peppering kisses all over him.

Tim squealed in surprise and tried to wriggle his way out of Jason's arms but Jason held him tight to his chest.

"Jason, what's gotten into you?" Tim asked, giving up his fight (way too quickly than he remembered) against Jason "You're acting more like Dick than Dick is."

Jason merely just snuggled his face into Tim's bony collarbone and squeezed Tim as tight as he could without breaking the poor skeleton. "I haven't seen you in a while, how are you?"

Tim shrugged against Jason's chest "I'm alright." Jason cocked an eyebrow at the young man.

"You know what I'm talking about," Jason lowered his voice seriously "How are you really?"

Tim abruptly pushed his way out of Jason's arms "I said I'm fine, jeez, I don't need two mother hens clucking at me."

Jason narrowed his eyes about to condemn Tim for being a moody teenager, when Tim attempted to get up and promptly fell down onto the ground. Jason immediately shot up and offered a hand to Tim. Tim scoffed and pushed his hands away.

It took three whole minutes before he could stand upright, his inhales had become pants and sweat trickled down Tim's forehead. Jason yet again, offered his hand to help him into his bedroom but Tim snapped at him. "Damn it, I'm fine! I'm not pregnant or fragile! I don't need help!"

Jason sneered and stopped Tim in his tracks by gripping his shoulder hard. "Lookie here baby bird, I don't know what's gotten into you, but you're clearly not okay. You keep denying the fact that your body is slowly deteriorating and all you're doing right now is pushing away the people who want to help you! Stop that before everyone is out of pulling range."

Tim glared at him fiercely and made a point to march to his room. He stopped midway across the unlit hallway and collapsed once more. Jason watched as Tim pathetically looked back at Jason, using his eyes to plead with him to offer his help once more. Jason merely crossed his arms across his chest, glaring at Tim.

Tim sighed and dragged himself along the carpet, as if he were a baby just learning how to crawl. Jason watched Tim as he grunted and tried to pull himself off the ground, his chin digging into the carpet.

Jason began to feel guilty as he watched Tim's arms and shoulders begin to tremble, as the grunts began to turn into high-pitched whines, as the glances at Jason turned into little, desperate sobs. Everything in Jason's soul wanted to go and pick him up and let him rest in bed; but his stubborn side preceded all of the rest of his instincts, and it was determined to make sure Tim learned his lesson.

The bathroom's door suddenly swung open next to Tim's head. A foot rose up, starting to step out, but froze right before it made contact with Tim's face. Whoever it was, Tim desperately pleaded to with his soft sobs and red, strained face. He gripped the person's ankle and weakly lifted his hand up to them.

The figure silently stepped over little Timbo and effortlessly picked him up. Tim frailly circled his arms around the shadow's neck and laid his head against its chest. The figure turned around and Jason suddenly lost all the air in his lungs.

Damian had grown so much in the past four months. He shot up about six inches, he was now a bit above the height as Tim originally was before he was shot. His face grew longer and its features grew more pronounced. The teenager was now every bit as dashing as his father and as charming as his mother.

Then he spoke with three simple words "How dare you." All the ferocity and danger that held an edge on his tone had been lost to Jason. All he heard was the deeper and richer sounding voice that contrasted greatly with the little squeaky hamster voice Jason was used to.

All Jason got out was "Huh". Damian simply glared at him and gently brought Tim to the last door down the hall which was his room. Apparently the brat had outgrew the habit of sneering as well. And hating Timbo. Huh.

Jason became curious and crept silently across the hall floor, which was something he learnt to do in the manor whenever Dick would order him to go steal cookies and milk for the rest of the kids. He remembered Steph, Roy, Wally and Duke (oh how he missed them) would always sneak into the house as a challenge to see who Alfred would catch first. Then Alfred would proceed to give a severe reprimand to them about giving the old man a heart attack. Ah, childhood.

He crept by Damian, his and Cass's room where he heard Dick consoling Cass and apologizing to her. Jason smirked to himself and gave Dick a mental nod of approval. Whoever makes Cass cry will be at the receiving end of his fist, that is, if Cass doesn't get to them first. Then he reached Tim and Dick's room, where he heard soft whispers and strange sounds.

Jason huddled close to the door and put his ear against the crack between the bottom of the door and the floor.

"It hurts, Damian," a pained voice whispered behind the door. There was a bit of rustling and something heavy dropping to the floor. Then, there was a pained gasp followed by a grunt of disapproval.

"I know it hurts, Drake. Why do you think I started studying pressure points?" Another exhale was released into the room, but was soon cut off by another strained whimper.

"Thanks Dami, you've helped a ton." Silence filled the empty hall and Jason was about to leave when Tim spoke up yet again.

"I don't know how long I can keep up with this." Jason turned his head back around, interested in what he had to say. "I don't think I have much time left. I don't want to do this anymore."

The rustling stopped "Drake, we're almost there. Just stay put awhile longer."

The next line crushed Jason's heart. He heard Tim's voice waver "I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much to live."

Jason quickly turned around and left, unwilling to hear whatever Damian's response was. Jason had thought Tim was okay, perhaps not physically but mentally and emotionally. He thought that the young man was still that prepubescent teen that he first met years ago. But he realized how much he'd missed over the past months and how much of Tim that was missing.


	9. Chapter 9

**TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal Thoughts and Attempt**

Familiar wild lights danced in front of his eyes, everything blurring because his brain was yet again, too slow to capture all that he saw in front of him. He felt glued to the cold, metal gurney that had unfortunately become his friend. His arms were strapped to either side of the sheet of steel, like a very uncomfortable hug.

He didn't feel the rush of the wind anymore, nor did he feel his adrenaline pumping like it had last time. Everything stood still, it was as if he was a lone fish in a dead swamp. There was one thing that stood the same always, he didn't care where they were taking him.

The hands that touched his shoulders, his arms, his chest. The ones that patted his face and stroked his feet. He couldn't think, he couldn't speak. But he could feel. He no longer felt ashamed or exposed, he just felt the monochrome. He didn't care where they were taking him, because soon, it wouldn't matter at all.

/

"You've grown so much," Dick whispered into Damian's hair. They were sitting right outside their favorite ice cream parlor. The icy wind brushed across Dick's cheek and the cold turned his gloveless fingers into ice cubes. It was definitely too cold for most people to get ice cream, but Eddy's gave a discount for ice cream during the holidays and the lines were short.

"I'm a young man now," Damian scoffed "Don't you dare embarrass me with your little endeavors."

Dick chuckled, stealing a lick of Damian's double chocolate fudge ice cream before the younger man could swat his brother away. "You're only 14 and you're still a freshie," he pinched his younger brother's cheeks "Look like one too."

"I take personal offense to that, Grayson," the teen huffed, he began to chow down on the ice cream before Dick could steal another lick.

Dick stared at the teen admiring his facial features, his nose had grown long now and his emerald eyes complimented his darker skin perfectly and he had clearly been learning how to cut hair because he had an amazing haircut with shaved sides and hair swept to the side.

Damian caught Dick's eyes and nervously fidgeted in his bench seat taking another taste of the fudgey goodness. "Why is everyone staring at me like that? It's very rude," he shot at his older brother.

His older brother laughed once more and placed an arm over his shoulder "It's been a while, how did you win in the genes lottery?"

Damian huffed and puffed his chest up "You dare imply that I wasn't perfect before this?" Dick watched as the teen finished off his cone, licking a little bit of the ice cream off his fingers before resorting to a napkin instead.

He was almost an adult, Dick suddenly realized. Right now, it seemed like Damian was still the little boy that had a superiority complex and took every chance to make each one of his siblings feel as unwelcome as possible. But now, Damian had matured so much.

Dick recalled his conversation with Jason last night about how the kid had taken care of Tim while they were gone. He also remembered a strong twinge in his chest swelling up, bringing a smile to his face. The strange feeling was hard for him to place, but when he finally connected the word to the emotion, he couldn't stop replaying four words in his head whenever he saw Damian.

"I'm proud of you."

Damian looked at him with pure shock and a little bit of terror. "What-what have I done to prompt you to state that fact?"

"I'm just… really proud of you."

Damian looked really uncomfortable once more. Dick watched as Damian shifted his eyes to the ground and began shuffling his feet, but he could tell by the swelling of his little brother's cheeks that he was smiling.

"Why… why is that?"

Dick snickered to himself, Damian hadn't been getting much praise lately because of the absence of three of his older siblings, there wasn't any doubt that he was craving some now. He placed a hand on Damian's shoulder and replied.

"I'm really proud that you stepped up to the plate. Thank you for taking care of Tim while we were gone."

Damian scoffed once more "Of course, it is my duty to take head of the household since you three were MIA and Tim has been crippled with illness. It is only natural and I believe that I performed sufficiently enough."

Dick slowly slinked his arms around Damian's neck, although the young one had gotten taller, he was still much shorter than Dick. This allowed him to snuggle Damian close to his chest once more.

"You're so grown up now. Soon you won't need me to take care of you anymore," Dick teased rubbing circles into his little brother's back.

Damian made a little noise in his shirt, causing a feeling of hot air to travel through the cloth. "Don't be ridiculous, Grayson. Although I am more mature now, I still have many years before one can call me a responsible adult."

"I'll be glad to be yours then," Dick smiled. He clutched Damian closer, not wanting to let go of the embrace that he had been waiting for the last few months.

"I can't breathe," Damian muffled in his shirt. Dick felt disappointed and began to loosen his arms, allowing the icy cold to fill in the space between him and his brother.

"Don't let go," Damian pleaded, grabbing tightly onto his shirt. Dick felt another twinge in his chest, but this time, he recognized it as his heart pumping and overflowing with love for his brother. He grabbed a hold of Damian and pulled him closer.

They held each other for a few more moments before they separated, the cold filling in their veins once more. Dick held Damian by his arm and they both walked quickly along a wooden bridge in order to get to their car.

The silence broke when Damian spoke up "I'm hypothesizing that my moral development hadn't just been due to Drake." Dick cocked his eyebrow and nodded at him to continue.

"I have- I've been still going to service."

Dick grinned in triumph, he thought that Damian would've stopped going because of the lack of friends he was making at church and the number of times he had slept during service. "Really? I thought that you would've stopped."

"Your lack of faith in me is devastatingly predictable," Damian scrunched his nose with scorn. "I have been going to the services… The congregation is… surprisingly good to me."

Dick felt that twinge of pride once again and began bouncing on one foot without realizing it. He gripped Damian's shoulder hard. "I'm really happy that you decided to continue."

His little brother shrugged, dropping Dick's remark as though it meant nothing. "I haven't felt the need to acquire any friends at school, but it is… nice… to have some company."

Damian took a deep breath of the freezing air before continuing "I have learned much from that experience. I observe that I have possibly misjudged an important source of life lessons for a useless endeavor. It is very… warming to know that many people believe in serving others rather than being served."

Dick hummed with approval "That's a lot that you've learned Damian, you got all of it right so far."

Damian continued "I have experienced trials and errors serving others rather than myself and I will divulge that I've found the experience very gratifying. The first time I tried to assist Drake, I- it's snowing."

Dick looked up to where snow flurries gracefully surrounded the lake and the bridge as well as the two of them. He looked to Damian who had stopped mid-sentence in his spiel to admire nature's work and watch the snowflakes descend from the heavens.

Dick closed his eyes and took in a deep breath of the first snow of winter, the freshest of all air throughout the year. He could hear Damian follow suit when he made note of a second deep inhale and exhale that hadn't come from him.

He opened his eyes wide to the scene around him and for the first time in a long time, he felt free. Not for long however, his phone began to rang and Dick picked it up without reading the caller number.

"Hello?"

"Dick…" Cass's voice sobbed in the phone "We're at the hospital… come quick."

/

Tim could feel that every nerve from head to toe ached and that every muscle in his body was slowly deteriorating because of the lack of food he was able to keep down. Now that both Jason and Cass were babysitting him right now, he had someone to talk to and not just sit around all day in bed, pitying himself.

By some stroke of luck, no social worker had showed up at their place when Tim mysteriously stopped coming to school around the middle of October. Tim didn't mind at all. This meant sleeping in late and waking up late, that's just how Tim liked to roll.

However, the lack of stimulation for his brain just made him grouchy, worst of all it made him hate himself.

He would rock himself to sleep at night, crying to himself because he realized how society was leaving him behind and that his classmates were already so much smarter than he was and that he would possibly have to repeat his current grade.

The lack of socialization gave his overly active mind too much time to think. To reflect on the world and it's sheer amount of people. To reflect on how terrible the American healthcare system was. To reflect on how stupid he was even though he KNEW he was smarter than many of his peers in society.

Tim remembered one day that he was scrolling through Instagram. He looked through posts of his friends and classmates getting internships, bragging about their grades and awards they've won over the course of Tim's missing months. He remembered just thinking about how he could never be like them and he began to wallow into his own pity. He deleted Instagram that day.

The severe pain started during the beginning of November and everything began to decline from then on. There were some days Tim didn't want to get up from the bed, he felt confined to his bed and wanted to sleep a little longer. But his overactive mind and the sunlight couldn't let him do that, but his eyes were so dry and drooping.

He knew he hadn't been getting enough food to eat everyday, he just didn't know how badly it would make him feel. Tim could only keep down a couple of types of food: oatmeal and water, anything else would make him grab the garbage can next to him and puke out the contents that were in his stomach from the past three days, which wasn't much considering.

Tim realized that things were getting really bad just a few weeks before his older siblings took a break off of work for the holidays. His vision was getting extremely blurry and everytime he flexed a muscle or joint, they would ache for hours on end and Tim would have to take a break and recover for about half an hour. He could tell that his voice was more slurred than it was before and that the demons in his head were eating at him.

He wasn't going to last long. Tim hated who he had become and especially despised the fact that his mind and his body were moving backwards, when he had made it clear that he only wanted improvement in his life.

Tim panicked underneath his blankets. How was he going to catch up with his peers? How dare he let his body deteriorate this far without doing anything. How dare he release control of his body. Why was he so angry at himself and so tired and stressed and dejected all the time? Why did he let his family work their minds off for _this_ bag of flesh and bones? How were they going to react when they realized that he was a failure? How were they going to react when they realized that _he _wasn't worth it? ...his thoughts grew silent…

Was this life even worth living?

/

Cass felt her muscles burning as she lugged her broken brother into the bathtub with her. Her tears quickly stained her face and her eyes kept blurring.

GET IT TOGETHER! She gritted her teeth in defiance and turned the water on to the coldest it could go.

"911, what's your emergency?"

Cass closed her eyes and began hyperventilating. She gasped at "Please… ambulance… hurry!"

She tried everything. She promised. She smacked Tim on the back repeatedly, she gave him chest compressions and she tried more. All the while, the 911 operator spoke into her ear.

"That's alright, honey. We've tracked your address and sent an ambulance in your direction. Can you tell me what is happening?"

Cass tried everything in her power not to sob, she said in a hushed, shuddering tone "Brother… overdosed."

"Alright, I want you to take a deep breath." Cass followed the operator's breathing instructions, inhaling and then exhaling.

"Now, I want you to tell me if you've taken any measures to try and help your brother."

Cass took in another shudder "Cold shower… chest compressions."

"Darling, turn off the cold shower and wrap him in a cold water might put him into shock."

Her eyes widened and quickly did what the operator said. "Oh golly…" she hushed under her breath. Cass suddenly had an epiphany and lowered her head down to Tim's nose level. She could hear him breathing, though very shallow.

"He's breathing!" Cass exclaimed, slightly relieved.

"That's great, we have more time then. Try turning him on his side, just in case he vomits. Do you happen to have any Naloxone on you?"

Cass shudders a bit from the rush of exhaustion, adrenaline and from the cold shower. "No."

"That's alright honey… just stay on the line with me. The ambulance is almost here. What's your name?"

"My name is Cass…"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: It's been a wild ride! Thank you for all the support! There will be an epilogue coming in so don't worry, this won't be the last chapter of this story!**

**Chapter 10:**

Damian stood frozen next to Tim. His hands trembled as he clutched his cup of water, squishing it into a small ball. The liquid shot out and dripped down from his hand and onto the floor. He couldn't care less.

Dick sat in a plastic red chair next to Tim, holding his hand and muttering soft whispers into his ear. He rested his forehead on his little brother's and closed his eyes. Jason and Cass had gone to take a break outside of the room, so Damian never felt so alone in his entire life.

Dick looked up from Tim and stared at Damian with his red rimmed eyes. He gestured to him "Come here Dami, sit next to me."

But Damian couldn't make himself move, he stood frozen and stiff, like a soldier. He was afraid and his body felt lethargic. His head was swimming and he had a tension headache from trying really hard not to cry.

He refused to walk over to Dick, he was afraid that his concentration on not crying would break and he would begin bawling his eyes out, showing his shame and vulnerability. Moreover, he felt ready, just not relaxed and watching over Tim. He knew that Tim was going to be alright, but he wanted to stand tall and still, just to be ready.

"Damian, he's going to be alright," Dick gently said.

His voice cracked "No he isn't."

Dick's face suddenly crumpled and he walked over to Damian and tightly held him. Damian could feel hot, wet tears trickle into his scalp and felt his own burning liquid dripping down his cheeks. His soft breaths turned into quiet sobs and he began shaking.

Dick rubbed smooth circles into Damian's back, which he found very relaxing. He felt himself being lifted off of the ground and carried around Tim's bed. He found himself to be lowered once more onto Dick's lap.

Damian felt ashamed to be held like a baby again, he was 14 now and he was way too old to be seated on someone's lap. But Dick felt really good to be cuddled against and hide away. When his father passed he had no one to hide against, so he took this opportunity to hide from the rest of the world.

Damian rubbed his face against Dick's soft, blue turtleneck and held onto his brother's broad chest and firm body. He felt like a tree trunk, one that would never bend over or bring down, not to the strongest of forces. He felt really safe holding Dick, he wondered if Dick felt the same way about him.

"He was going to leave us," Damian whispered quietly, half-hoping that Dick wouldn't hear him and half-hoping that he would answer why. "Why would He let this happen…?"

He drifted off to the vibration of Dick's chest and Adam's apple as he spoke sadly.

"I don't know."

/

The first thing Tim remembered was a heavy scent of chalk powder, ginger and honey. It was a rather delicious and pleasant scent. He tried moving closer to the scent, to get a stronger whiff of it, when the second sensation stopped him.

There was something forced down his throat and was pumping air into it and Tim definitely knew he didn't like that. That and the pricks in his arms and restraint that held him down. He didn't like this feeling, he didn't like feeling restrained and controlled by someone else.

His eyes flashed open and he began thrashing against the surface he was laid upon. Tim tried to reach for the object forced into his mouth with his hands, but of course, the restraints didn't allow that.

He could feel hands patting down his face and neck and frantic voices telling him to calm down. Tim didn't calm down until he found the source of the pleasant scent.

He turned around to his right, where Cass sat next to him. She worriedly reached out and rubbed down his arm to encourage him to breath. So he breathed.

"Tim, you're okay," a familiar voice said behind him. He whirled around to see Dick fussing with his hair and wiping the sweat running down his forehead with a rag.

Tim motioned to the tube that was placed down his throat.

"That's your artificial respirator, do you want to take it out?" Dick asked. Tim nodded in response. "Alright, let me call the nurse over."

Taking the respirator out was like walking through a flaming pit of madness. Tim couldn't count the number of times he gagged on the tube sliding out. The tube tickled and triggered his gagged reflexes so often, by the time the tube was out, Tim had a bad case of sore throat.

The nurse helped Tim up and he immediately gasped in pain. Dick rushed closer to him and squeezed his hand tight. Tim leaned his weight onto his older brother, when reality slowly hit him. He had failed to make time stop for himself, he failed to make the world stop revolving in his own perspective. He wished that it had.

"Why did you bring me back?" He whispered hoarsely. "You should've let me go."

Jason suddenly walked out of the shadows. He looked angrier than Tim had ever seen him in his entire life. "Don't say that!" Jason yelled "You don't know how much we care about you! Why did you throw it all away like that? Do you know how much your life means to other people? You're being so selfish!"

Tim shrinked away and Cass smacked Jason in the arm. Dick gripped Tim tighter against him and glared at Jason. "Don't say that! He never asked to be… depressed."

Tim shuddered when he heard that word, he hated that the word was being spoken so blatantly, so casually. He supposed he was... depressed, but Tim had always thought that it was his mind making it up so that he could feel sorry for himself. It was such a shame that it had to get so out of hand in order for Tim to acknowledge it… or for his family to notice it.

"Where's Damian," Tim asked. Dick shifted a little over and gestured to a large black lump that was curled up on two of those hospital plastic seats right next to Tim. Tim felt a tugging at the edge of his lips and reached his hand over to brush Damian's hair.

"I was going to leave him," Tim said shakily "I was going to leave you guys." He realized that he didn't want to be alone anymore, that he didn't want to die. He didn't want to leave his family because he loved them too much. But he didn't know how to move forward, he didn't know how to catch up to the rest of the world.

Cass leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Don't think... too hard," she whispered "Just rest."

"Don't abandon us," Damian pleaded. Dick wrapped his hands around Damian's face and turned it to face him.

"We have to go bud, it's better this way," Dick said, softly. Damian cried out in anger and hit Dick's hands away from his face.

"This is completely dishonorable! If you'd care for us, you wouldn't be doing this!" Damian whirled to face Tim, he gripped tightly onto his sweater. "Tim, make them stay," he pleaded.

Tim wasn't doing much better than Damian was, his teeth bit his bottom lip hard. It was shaking and shuddering with each hiccup that interrupted his breath. He was shaking really hard and kept sniffing to keep snot coming out from his nose. There was an occasional tear slipped out of the corner of his eye or a pathetic whine that slipped out in between his teeth.

"Tim, make them stay…"

Tears began to pour out of Tim's eyes and his knees buckled to the floor of the cold, marble floor of the group home. Cass was quick to soften his fall to the ground and she held him, tucking her chin over her head, allowing silent tears to fall from her face.

Tim began to sob, he gripped onto Cass's yellow vest and stuffed his face into her shoulder. Cass began to shake from sobs as well and she quickly covered her mouth from making any sounds.

"We've already talked about this a few months ago, remember Dami? In a few years, we can live together again," Dick began to stroke the top of Damian's head, a little bit afraid of his little brother hitting him again. "We just need some time to get back on our feet."

Damian scowled and crossed his arms, refusing to look Dick in the eye. "My question went unanswered."

"What question?" Dick asked gently. "What is it?"

"Why, if He's real, why is this happening to us?" Damian whispered, burning a hole into the floor "We're good people, why is He punishing us?"

Dick hesitated for a while, Damian noticed. It was almost as if he was afraid to answer. His older brother leaned into his ear "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Good people deserve tough skin."

He was puzzled by his statement and angered by the vague explanation that he was given. Was it worth it? Was the gift of perseverance worth the cost? He had everything, now he has nothing, none of this made sense.

"-tt- whatever." Damian turned from Dick and decided to find another spot to glare at.

An unfamiliar clacking sound vibrating against the floor caused the five siblings to look up. The owner of the group home walked across to them and smiled kindly.

"Are you two ready to come inside and meet the kids?"

Damian and Tim looked at the ground, refusing to answer. They wanted their goodbyes to last a little longer. Dick cleared his throat "Uh… yeah they're ready."

"Wait."

Everyone whirled around to the only person who had been silent the entire time. Jason. He shuffled forward and awkwardly removed his hands from the pockets of his cardigan. He affectionately rubbed his hands against their heads a little longer than he usually did.

"See you in a few, squirts," he chuckled. His laugh had lost the usual deep bass that it normally had and his eyes didn't glimmer the same.

Damian and Tim leaped forward and grabbed onto Jason like there was no tomorrow. Jason had to grip the wall and brace himself before grabbing the two younger ones and squishing them against his body. Jason sighed and looked to the sky, blinking fast and exhaling longer than usual.

Cass walked forward to the woman and shook her hand "Thank you… take care… my brothers… please." The last word stuck to the air like how the Crime Alley dust clung to its air.

"Do you five have any last words?" the woman asked. Tim and Damian continued to refuse to look at their older siblings.

The woman nodded sympathetically and ushered Cass, Jason and Dick outside.

Jason felt his heart clench like it never had before, it felt so strange. He felt his breath start to quicken and he began to walk faster to their car.

_Don't look back._

He heard Dick letting out a few sobs behind him and Cass producing the little sniffs that Tim had made before.

_Don't look back_.

He took out his car keys and double tapped one of the buttons to unlock the car doors. He slammed open the driver's side, since he knew that he would be the only one being able to keep it together during the car ride.

_Don't look back._

He unrolled the window to let the crisp, clean uptown air in that was a large contrast to the Crime Alley air they had all begun to get used to. He waited as Cass and Dick buckled up and proceeded to do the same.

_Don't look back._

Damn it, he had to reverse the car in order to drive out of his parking space.

_One little peek._

Jason peered into the rear view mirror and felt his breath catch in his throat as he realized that it would be a long, long time until those two back seats in the car would fill up again. He began to drive out onto the road

_One more peek._

He broke his resolve when he peered through the wing mirror on Dick's side of the car. He was startled to see Damian and Tim running after the car.

"JASON, CASS-" Damian's voice blew off through the wind, the two teens were running as fast as they could.

Jason slowed down the car as much as he could. The three eldest leaned out of their windows to understand why Damian and Tim were running after them.

"WHAT?" Jason yelled out.

Tim tripped and landed on the floor, but immediately got up and started running. Jason chuckled, Tim had been a lot more active since the trip to the hospital five months ago.

Damian and Tim began to accelerate in their speed and cupped their hands to their mouths. Once again, the wind had stopped them from hearing anything.

"ONE MORE TIME?" Dick shouted, choking in laughter through his tears.

Damian and Tim were now a couple yards away and they stopped right there. They screamed on top of their lungs.

"WE LOVE YOU!"

The car was silent once more, except Dick had begun crying again. There was an awkward pause and Cass rolled down her window screen and brilliantly smiled through her tears.

"WE LOVE YOU TOO!"

Dick began to blow wet kisses to them and Jason flashed a shaka sign at them with his right hand.

"COOL BRO!" Jason shouted out into the breezy air. They waved their final goodbyes and Jason began to drive off, when they heard another:

"WE LOVE YOU!" but this time, it was clear that Damian's voice cracked since he was getting used to the voice changes in his new body.

Cass and Jason began to roar in laughter, while Dick started coughing because he once again began to choke on his sobs.

_We'll come and find you two_, _promise._ Jason thought to himself. He drove onto the highway and felt a single teardrop drip down his face.


	11. Chapter 11

**Epilogue**

**A/N: Sorry guys, I forgot to mention that the family wasn't able to pay for the hospital bills but so they got a loan from the bank. I'm sorry guys, I think I really messed up with this story so I'll be sure to rewrite it with everything I want in it! One more thing, I'll be posting on AO3 after I finish posting here and editing/revising the rest of my story. I envision that the final product on AO3 will have a much different ending, if AO3 turns out better than the story here, I'll reupload the story here. In the meantime, enjoy my last update :)**

"Quickly, quickly Cass, get behind the sofa!" Dick whispered harshly to the younger woman. She rolled her eyes and followed his lead. He motioned to Barbara to get into a different hallway and to turn the lights off in there.

He hastily retaped the banner that kept falling off from the ceiling and quickly checked his phone.

_29 seconds ago, Jay-jay: We're near the house, get ready Dickiebird._

Dick turned to the haggle of people which were a couple of Tim's and Damian's old school friends and quickly shushed them.

"Guys, get into your places, Damian and Tim are almost here!" Dick hissed. Everyone quickly stopped what they were doing and quickly turned the lights off.

The seconds seemed to turn into minutes which seemed to turn into hours. Everyone held their breath and slightly peered around their hiding spots at the large bay windows that the family's new beach house supported. The colored green and yellow balloons casted out strange, almost neon like shadows that the moonlight outside the windows had created.

Nobody dared to move in fear that their horribly glued streamers and colored tissue paper flowers would fall from the walls and ceiling, creating an insane domino effect causing the hours of decorating to be flushed down the drain.

Floodlights suddenly flashed through the windows, filling the room and everyone began to whisper in anticipation. Dick raised his head slowly above the sofa and let out a loud "SHHHHHH!" All the party-goers suddenly fell quiet and ducked their heads into their hiding places when the clanging of a set of keys was heard outside of the front door.

The door quietly rushed open and the floor slightly vibrated following two loud metal clangs as Tim and Damian placed their heavy suitcases onto the ground. There was a little bit of shuffling and sounds of rubbing fabric materials as the two seemingly took off their shoes and socks to enter the home.

"It's really dark in here," a voice whispered.

"Jason, can you please turn on the lights? I swear upon your life that IF I drop Goliath on the floor ONE MORE TIME because of you-" a deeper voice commented.

"Wait… let me find the light switch," the familiar voice brazenly replied. "Oh you shrimp, you're such a silly goose." THE CODE!

The lights flickered on and everyone screamed.

"SURPRISE!"

(Jason snapped a selfie of the entire ordeal while it happened, which was hilarious because everyone looked like they were blinking because of the sudden light change.)

Tim and Damian blinked around, adjusting to the scene in front of them. The first person Tim spotted was one of his friends, Conner. He let out a whoop and jumped onto his back. It was in that moment when everybody began to shove for either Damian or Tim, to either pat them on the back or to hug them.

Dick decided to hang back with Cass to let the crowd clear itself.

"Four years! _Four years_! It's been such a long time!"

"Next time you disappear like that, I'll send Bart on you,Tim!"

"Next time you sleepover at the ranch, we're playing another round of cheese vikings!"

The crowd over time began to subside. Many went to start munching on nachos and pizza (NOT hawaiian this time, since many had different acquired tastes), to start conversations amongst themselves or to retrieve their welcome back gifts to Damian and Tim.

Dick and Cass made their way towards Tim and Damian. Dick grabbed both of them in his arms and Cass wrapped her arms around all of them, forming a collective group hug (excluding Jason).

"It's been too long," Cass whispered to the two younger ones. Damian cleared his throat and stood up straight "Jason can no longer call me shrimp, seeing as how I tower over all of you." It was true, he was about an inch or two taller than Jason now, leaving Cass as the shortest member in the family. He had inherited his height from his father as well as his muscle mass.

His voice had gotten so much deeper that Dick hadn't even recognized it when they stepped through the front door.

Dick blurted "It's alright! Even though you look and sound ten years older than me, you're still my baby!"

Cass started giggling and gently clasped Damian on the back, rubbing it up and down.

Dick turned to Tim, he looked exactly the same, except his cheeks were fuller and colored and his hair, eyes and lips lustered everytime light hit him. In other words, he was a lot healthier than he was before they sent him into the group home.

Tim now sported thick rimmed, rectangular glasses which he only wore that night because he had forgotten his contact lenses. He mentioned how endless days and productive nights had landed him with the new nerdy look and being officially ahead of the rest of his peers in college.

"Nice place, good job you two!" Tim exclaimed "This is a really big house!"

It was a miracle how they managed to land a house in such a nice place. The house was in the suburbs, next to a seaside town with a magnificent view of the rainbow ocean and in the cool, mysterious foggy woods.

Apparently, Bruce had left something for them after all. The money with a note was found in a small vase of a plant Alfred had been growing a few months before their father passed away. It was found when Cass had accidentally knocked it over when she was practicing ballet in the living room of their old apartment.

It contained a few million dollars, enough to buy their beach house and cover bills and supplies for about a good handful of years, just enough time for Jason, Cass and Dick to build their careers.

Dick was snapped out of his thoughts when another pair of arms surrounded the group hug. Jason. No wonder it smelled like weed and testosterone.

"All together now, not gonna let you guys go," Jason said snuggling into the group, teasingly.

"Awww… ever since when has Jason gotten so sentimental?" Tim goaded.

"Shut up shrimp…"

"Dick," Damian hushed, knocking on his bedroom door.

"Dami? What's up." Dick patted on the spot next to him. Damian hopped onto the bed next Dick, causing the bed to dip into one side of the bed like a sinkhole.

"Whoa, whoa… can't be having you do that anymore," Dick chuckled.

"Are you calling me fat?"

Dick scoffed and smacked Damian across the arm lightly, "You're joking now? What else has changed?"

They both laid back and watched the ceiling as the moonlight casted shadows of moving branches and leaves all over it. The occasional car drove by and flashed a brighter light on the ceiling. The constant chirping of cicadas nearly drove Damian to sleep and the breezy wind refilled the room with fresh air.

Dick dipped his chin over his younger brother's head and tucked his hands around Damian, like Winnie the Pooh and his jar of honey. Damian mentally smiled to himself at that analogy, he had spent too much time in the group home watching American classics such as Winnie the Pooh, Blue's Clues and 's Neighborhood. He had never felt so happy, peaceful and… content in his entire life.

Something clicked "I understand now."

"You understand what?" Dick asked.

"That question I asked all those years ago," Damian replied, slurring his words.

"Oh."

"I guess we really had to suffer for a while to get to this place," Damian said sleepily.

"Really."

"Y'Know, if you didn't put us in the group home, we'd probably be on the streets instead of the apartment. Maybe it was all worth it after all."

"I see," Dick looked down at him and smiled.

"There was another in the fire, standing next to us. We were going to be okay." Damian whispered to himself. "I wish I could tell that to my past self."

Damian could feel Dick silently nodding against him. Then he yawned "Or maybe I'm just tired and need a full eight hours of sleep."

Dick chuckled to himself and squeezed Damian a little harder.

"You gonna break my arm?"

"Glad you got that, bud."

Damian could feel him drifting off to sleep and he could've been mistaken, but he swore he heard someone say.

"Finally grew thick skin, huh?"

/

Tim could feel the sunlight on his face and he rolled around in his blanket. He snuggled against the soft, cool covers that were just waiting to be warmed by him and he opened his eyes. His bed was right next to a mirror and he observed his face.

He touched his cheeks that were no longer hallowed out by months of pain and torture written all over his face. They were now covered with a bit of fat, like they had been before that fateful day at the supermarket.

He placed his arms underneath his shirt and felt his stomach. They were no longer sharp with ribs sticking out of them. It no longer hurt to stretch and now it never felt like he was stretching his skin to its breaking point. He was still skinny, but not as much as he was when he couldn't keep any of his food down.

Tim twisted and moved around in his bed and never, NEVER in his life, felt more blessed to be able to simply _move_. He loved how he could open his eyes without the room seemingly being at a dizzying slant, he loved how he could walk without feeling weak and immediately collapsing on the floor. He loved how he could eat and eat without ending up with a sore throat after vomiting it all back up.

He touched his legs and reminded himself of how grateful he was that there were no longer strange, painful cramps and seizing all over his body. Most of all, he was so thankful that he was alive. Tim was thankful for being able to open his eyes every single day.

There were times when he was still depressed. There were times when he woke up screaming from nightmares of his body bent at disturbing angles or being shot over and over again by his father or the attacker at the grocery store.

He curled his toes and made sure all ten were there. Tim looked back at the mirror and smiled at his reflection. Everything was so complicated and confusing right now, changes were being made, Tim and Damian would now have to adjust their schedules and explore the new place.

They had gone through the worst. But that's okay. Now, they had walked out of the fire, but not without their bonds forged stronger. Tim smiled wider, he was thankful for that.


End file.
